No matter the positive (apparently....we'll know in one year....giggle) outcome of my mind-numbing recent prospects for a very rocky future, I still find I am a changed person.
Oh, no I am not referring to a sudden renewal of my religious positions and actions, but rather a now-apparent-to-me awareness that, at 64 years of age, I am mortal.
I remember well thinking in my 30s and my 40s that life could be short. I then had a goal of making it to the turn of the century. That was when i was 58, and at that point I would be older than my father when he passed. He nearly died at 47, and frankly given the state of medicine then about his coronary artery disease it is amazing he made it to 57.
When 2000 came and went and I was still apparently fine, I somehow made a quantum leap of faith that 75-90 was realistic. My prognostication, albeit it mostly a mental, non-written or spoken thing, was based upon my study of the family tree. Many of my male relatives lived into their late 80s, and even mid-90s....and this when the average lifespan was WAY lower.
The events of the past weeks have sobered my euphoria a bit and made me aware I need to take ownership of my health. Much more than I have been doing.
We shall see if I stick to this.
We shall see what comes next in my movement into a new world of awareness!
Duke
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Time tells ALL.....
The fact of my brief postings during my apparent problems with Lungs/Heart/Aorta/etc. are sure symbols of the fact that nothing is cast in concrete in this modern medical technical time....
I am blessed from many viewpoints.....
I am blessed from MY viewpoint!!!
I thank whatever gods that be for the information.....
Duke
I am blessed from many viewpoints.....
I am blessed from MY viewpoint!!!
I thank whatever gods that be for the information.....
Duke
PHEW!!!! - The Situation Dissipates!
I have been contemplating just how to write this......
But first.....I am OFF THE HOOK on the reported "aneurysm".
My delay was as I feel almost like I stole something from someone. I read the tales at other sites of continuing battles, and suddenly find I apparently do not have one. More to the point Instapundit & GM Roper as well asothers, including my online high school friends from 46 years ago sent much encouragement and support. My prayers will remain with each and every one of them.
Now the story: I mentioned in my last post that my boss (I am retired, but still on-contract at the hospital) was getting involved. That was an understatement!
Yesterday morning Duchess and I met with him at 9am. After he worked thru the CAT Scan report of aneurysm and CAD (coronary artery disease), he made some calls.
By 1pm I was meeting with the lead thoracic surgeon who is nationally-known. We sat in the boss's conference room as he examined me and went online to review the written CAT Scan report as well as the actual "slices" in the scan. He announced I DO NOT have an aneurysm....I have a slightly enlarged aorta which may have been that way all my life. We are a good bit away from a dangerous aneurysm. He also pronounced the CAD to be minor and in-line with my age of 64.
By 3:45 I was with my own cardiologist, also courtesy of a call from the boss. He concurred with the thoracic surgeon.
Results of the entire episode? I have one new med to keep my systolic blood pressure reading down. I will have follow-up CAT Scan at 6 and 12 months, just to make sure all is static.....and, I get an ultrasound of my carotids, despite the fact both docs felt they are open. This last bit is due family history of BAD carotids.
Soooo....
In a brief period of a few weeks I have gone from a cough to an x-ray revealing a shadow on my lung to a CAT Scan reported as showing an aneurysm and CAD to an apparent normal reading.......and no surgery, additional major actions, etc.
Incredible, and I am still reeling about and trying to get back in focus.
How marvelous today's technological advances are, and how great to have been "in the right place at the right time" as far as my employment and contacts go. Not everyone is so fortunate as to work for one of the top cardiac hospitals in the nation (#4 in heart transplants)...and to work for the man with the hammer to help me so much.
As I said I feel both fortunate and a bit embarrassed by it all.
Thanks again to Instapundit who directed me to GM Roper who gave encouragement and advice...primary among those things was "maintain a positive attitude"...here's his post about my site.
Thank you both for your support and caring.
Duke
But first.....I am OFF THE HOOK on the reported "aneurysm".
My delay was as I feel almost like I stole something from someone. I read the tales at other sites of continuing battles, and suddenly find I apparently do not have one. More to the point Instapundit & GM Roper as well asothers, including my online high school friends from 46 years ago sent much encouragement and support. My prayers will remain with each and every one of them.
Now the story: I mentioned in my last post that my boss (I am retired, but still on-contract at the hospital) was getting involved. That was an understatement!
Yesterday morning Duchess and I met with him at 9am. After he worked thru the CAT Scan report of aneurysm and CAD (coronary artery disease), he made some calls.
By 1pm I was meeting with the lead thoracic surgeon who is nationally-known. We sat in the boss's conference room as he examined me and went online to review the written CAT Scan report as well as the actual "slices" in the scan. He announced I DO NOT have an aneurysm....I have a slightly enlarged aorta which may have been that way all my life. We are a good bit away from a dangerous aneurysm. He also pronounced the CAD to be minor and in-line with my age of 64.
By 3:45 I was with my own cardiologist, also courtesy of a call from the boss. He concurred with the thoracic surgeon.
Results of the entire episode? I have one new med to keep my systolic blood pressure reading down. I will have follow-up CAT Scan at 6 and 12 months, just to make sure all is static.....and, I get an ultrasound of my carotids, despite the fact both docs felt they are open. This last bit is due family history of BAD carotids.
Soooo....
In a brief period of a few weeks I have gone from a cough to an x-ray revealing a shadow on my lung to a CAT Scan reported as showing an aneurysm and CAD to an apparent normal reading.......and no surgery, additional major actions, etc.
Incredible, and I am still reeling about and trying to get back in focus.
How marvelous today's technological advances are, and how great to have been "in the right place at the right time" as far as my employment and contacts go. Not everyone is so fortunate as to work for one of the top cardiac hospitals in the nation (#4 in heart transplants)...and to work for the man with the hammer to help me so much.
As I said I feel both fortunate and a bit embarrassed by it all.
Thanks again to Instapundit who directed me to GM Roper who gave encouragement and advice...primary among those things was "maintain a positive attitude"...here's his post about my site.
Thank you both for your support and caring.
Duke
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Positive Approach!
Many, many hours of thought......some facts i put forth......
1. I can have little impact on what is ongoing other than following some basic rules, and taking good advice.
2. I need to go on planning my life as if this is a bus stop, not a resting place...I am doing so with plans/reservations for November Thanksgiving, etc.
3. Life is something in which we need to be more involved.....Does that sound like BS? It is NOT. Sometimes i find I (and I am sure I am not alone) get into my rut and just go along allowing my set schedule to rule. It is time for some innovation/relaxation/travel .....that is, after all, why I retired in the first place.
4. Your strongest support comes from places expected, and unexpected....Duchess, a cardiac surgical nurse by trade, though retired, has been a stalwart, supportive person. I know she is worried as she has talked with one daughter with whom she has great communication. That was one of her support lines. My boss at the hospital, I did not expect to get involved. He has, and tomorrow I'll find out just how much. He is a very, very learned man with mental abilities far beyond my own, and a knowledge of medicine which eclipses mine...not to mention his position which can provide me an insider help most cannot enjoy. That is a blessing.
Just thoughts, but there should be some kernels of truth in there....
Duke
1. I can have little impact on what is ongoing other than following some basic rules, and taking good advice.
2. I need to go on planning my life as if this is a bus stop, not a resting place...I am doing so with plans/reservations for November Thanksgiving, etc.
3. Life is something in which we need to be more involved.....Does that sound like BS? It is NOT. Sometimes i find I (and I am sure I am not alone) get into my rut and just go along allowing my set schedule to rule. It is time for some innovation/relaxation/travel .....that is, after all, why I retired in the first place.
4. Your strongest support comes from places expected, and unexpected....Duchess, a cardiac surgical nurse by trade, though retired, has been a stalwart, supportive person. I know she is worried as she has talked with one daughter with whom she has great communication. That was one of her support lines. My boss at the hospital, I did not expect to get involved. He has, and tomorrow I'll find out just how much. He is a very, very learned man with mental abilities far beyond my own, and a knowledge of medicine which eclipses mine...not to mention his position which can provide me an insider help most cannot enjoy. That is a blessing.
Just thoughts, but there should be some kernels of truth in there....
Duke
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Thinking, Realization, Worry
Things are moving so slowly it seems more like a film being run at half-speed.
I am going to be waiting until Wednesday to get much more information. My person physician's office called and his nurse said they wanted me to get with a thoracic surgeon as soon as possible.
What I am doing....and it is a blessing that I was employed where I was prior to retiring (& still am on contract there for work from home and at the hospital)...is meeting with the chief physician of the hospital who is apparently stepping right in to guide me. His contacts are much greater than mine....his knowledge light years ahead of mine.
At this point I am aware of two problems.....the aneurysm in my ascending aorta, and an apparent calcification in my aorta and other areas since I had a heart cath 13 years ago and was clean. That is not good news. My mother and grandmother died of just such calcification.
The aneurysm is apparently small. Hopefully. It may even be something that can wait for a while to be addressed. The team at the hospital is working on a procedure to use stents in the ascending aorta. Currently they do this in the descending aorta. That is preferable as it keeps from "cracking open" the chest to do regular surgery.
Obviously, at this point i am only engaged in speculation. The feeling of recognizing my own mortality is really not where I wanted to be right now.
Duke
I am going to be waiting until Wednesday to get much more information. My person physician's office called and his nurse said they wanted me to get with a thoracic surgeon as soon as possible.
What I am doing....and it is a blessing that I was employed where I was prior to retiring (& still am on contract there for work from home and at the hospital)...is meeting with the chief physician of the hospital who is apparently stepping right in to guide me. His contacts are much greater than mine....his knowledge light years ahead of mine.
At this point I am aware of two problems.....the aneurysm in my ascending aorta, and an apparent calcification in my aorta and other areas since I had a heart cath 13 years ago and was clean. That is not good news. My mother and grandmother died of just such calcification.
The aneurysm is apparently small. Hopefully. It may even be something that can wait for a while to be addressed. The team at the hospital is working on a procedure to use stents in the ascending aorta. Currently they do this in the descending aorta. That is preferable as it keeps from "cracking open" the chest to do regular surgery.
Obviously, at this point i am only engaged in speculation. The feeling of recognizing my own mortality is really not where I wanted to be right now.
Duke
Friday, June 15, 2007
Diagnosis In - WHEW!
At least - partially......
I had to pull strings through my old employer this morning to get the report from my Monday CT Scan......not sure why it dragged.
Two pages boil down to:
1. The lung shadow is old granuloma (sort of a calcification) with NO problem....I appear to have so far dodged the BIG C!
2. The report found an ascending aorta aneurysm......Unfortunately no size given. This must be small or they would have pursued it immediately. They call for monitoring it.
More later
Duke
I had to pull strings through my old employer this morning to get the report from my Monday CT Scan......not sure why it dragged.
Two pages boil down to:
1. The lung shadow is old granuloma (sort of a calcification) with NO problem....I appear to have so far dodged the BIG C!
2. The report found an ascending aorta aneurysm......Unfortunately no size given. This must be small or they would have pursued it immediately. They call for monitoring it.
More later
Duke
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Waiting....Waiting....What To Do!
The time is S-L-O-W.....the items for consideration are many.
However, I continue to try to blank them out until I have some reply....some form of knowing what IS, or at least what is possible.
The choices seem to me to be.....
A) I have something abnormal.......Then we plan to determine what are the potentials for finding out WHAT! &&& What can we do to determine what the problem is and what do we do to work to solve the problem....
B) I have NO problem, and I will then try to find what impact this event has had upon me, and will have upon my life....
BUT......
I wait......
Duke
However, I continue to try to blank them out until I have some reply....some form of knowing what IS, or at least what is possible.
The choices seem to me to be.....
A) I have something abnormal.......Then we plan to determine what are the potentials for finding out WHAT! &&& What can we do to determine what the problem is and what do we do to work to solve the problem....
B) I have NO problem, and I will then try to find what impact this event has had upon me, and will have upon my life....
BUT......
I wait......
Duke
Monday, June 11, 2007
CAT SCAT.....Done
Well, that procedure is a snap......
CT (known as CAT) is a method of looking inside at the tissue.....
In this case it is a metal wall with a circular hole in the middle. You lay on a small trolley-type bed and the thing moves up and down your body snapping whatever iot is they call the type of views they get from the machine.
I had a needle in the hand for the "media"......they did my scan twice....once with no media and once with media (a liquid they inject into you which highlights areas in your body.......)
Now the wait......two days they said......Wednesday afternoon I'll be calling my Doc to check the report.....nervous!
Duke
CT (known as CAT) is a method of looking inside at the tissue.....
In this case it is a metal wall with a circular hole in the middle. You lay on a small trolley-type bed and the thing moves up and down your body snapping whatever iot is they call the type of views they get from the machine.
I had a needle in the hand for the "media"......they did my scan twice....once with no media and once with media (a liquid they inject into you which highlights areas in your body.......)
Now the wait......two days they said......Wednesday afternoon I'll be calling my Doc to check the report.....nervous!
Duke
Friday, June 8, 2007
Moving Ahead?
Time nears for the all-important CAT Scan.
As it does, and the window from here to there narrows, I find it much harder to ignore the possibilities. Duchess is having a rough time with her shoulder rehab. Pain is with her all the time, and it is wearing her down....even as she moves toward kick-starting the movement of her own arm.
Despite this pressure, she is there for me. This past week i went into a two day blue funk! Nothing I can lay my finger on, but probably in some contorted way related to the upcoming test....perhaps more to the results of said test.
One of the things which i find amazing is the way my sights have narrowed down, and shortened in scope of time. Plans for vacations, RV trips, etc. are sitting there. I see no reason to plan until I know more. Defeatist attitude? Probably....and not a good one. We have not yet told any of our kids nor family. Will not burden them unless it is fact. Perhaps it will all go away and I'll look back and say "What the heck was I worried about?" Perhaps not.
We have tentative plans for a Thanksgiving trip to the Houston area to be with daughter and family there. Thinking also of a trip to Illinois in July to see another daughter and family. Cannot bring myself to make reservations at campgrounds yet.
Let's see what next week brings.
Duke
p.s. Thanks to Jerry for a nice comment and support....!
As it does, and the window from here to there narrows, I find it much harder to ignore the possibilities. Duchess is having a rough time with her shoulder rehab. Pain is with her all the time, and it is wearing her down....even as she moves toward kick-starting the movement of her own arm.
Despite this pressure, she is there for me. This past week i went into a two day blue funk! Nothing I can lay my finger on, but probably in some contorted way related to the upcoming test....perhaps more to the results of said test.
One of the things which i find amazing is the way my sights have narrowed down, and shortened in scope of time. Plans for vacations, RV trips, etc. are sitting there. I see no reason to plan until I know more. Defeatist attitude? Probably....and not a good one. We have not yet told any of our kids nor family. Will not burden them unless it is fact. Perhaps it will all go away and I'll look back and say "What the heck was I worried about?" Perhaps not.
We have tentative plans for a Thanksgiving trip to the Houston area to be with daughter and family there. Thinking also of a trip to Illinois in July to see another daughter and family. Cannot bring myself to make reservations at campgrounds yet.
Let's see what next week brings.
Duke
p.s. Thanks to Jerry for a nice comment and support....!
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